So...Nintendo has a guy surnamed Bowser taking over Reggie’s role, and an “adversary” surnamed Bowser as well.

What are the fucking chances?

A whole can of tomatoes in chicken soup? WTF?

“Each of Unsighted’s dungeons introduces another tool to Alma’s kit, including a beyblade-esque spinning murder-top she can ride, the ever-beloved hookshot (you can get two actually), and a pair of high-jump boots.”

Someone really liked Twilight Princess

There are anti-griddles, which chill food fairly quickly. Liquids freeze within a minute on them: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-griddle

“Add you and me together, subtract our clothes, then divide your legs so we can start multiplying!”

It’s really a steal once you realize there are folks who would shell out $150 just to put their mouths on poultry genitals.

Seriously. At least wait for both the ink on the divorce papers and the recovering addict to dry out first before making babies together.

I actually hope Olivia and John made it work, and then add a third named Newton.

getting a record deal based on throwing meat around a Subway bathroom isn’t that far removed from getting a record deal merely for being a brat on Dr. Phil like Bhad Bhabie did.

Red Lobster switched to Samoan children. They imbue more flavor and cost less per pound.

Most important: please tip your waiter generously for having to constantly refresh your shrimp order for the next two hours or so - especially if you puke it up on the premises. 

INO is just Chik-Fil-A with burgers: overhyped, over priced food run by right-wing Bible Thumpers. Nothing of value is being lost.

Their consoles have lagged in sales behind The Wii, the Switch, the PS3, the PS4, and the PS5. Pretty much every console owner i’ve known opted to buy a Sony or Nintendo console with actual exclusive games instead because they could just buy Halo or Gears on the PC they already owned.

My three go-to nugget sauces:
Honey mustard
Teriyaki
Sweet & Sour

WTF are you doing, Sony? Do you want to dig into your console sales like Microsoft does by porting their “exclusives” like Gears and Halo to PC? Because that’s how you hurt your console sales like Microsoft does.

Looks like there’s going to be new fetish fuel on the level of Bowsette flooding Twitter and Rule 34 sites quite soon....

“I did this first”.

*Prince, Sylvester, David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Boy George, Grace Jones, and Annie Lennox have entered the chat*

I love Ppesi and I love mangoes, but Mango Pepsi just did not work AT ALL. I really wish they would bring back Pineapple Pepsi. I managed to find a pack at Walmart around May 2020, and it was fantastic.

As someone who adores both brownies AND Sour Patch Kids, I cannot believe that combination never occurred to me before. OFF TO THE GROCERY STORE! 

Thanks to Candace, I’ve stopped eating wax fruit. The downside is that I don’t shit out scented candles anymore.