I’ll take your word for it.

I can’t stand it. Horrendous, self-indulgent writing. Makes the Moffat era Dr. Who look positively humble. We get it, she’s not like other girls. Jesus christ.

Twinkle Star Sprites rules so damn hard. The goofy backgrounds, the soft puzzle elements, the ever-more madcap explosions and pace of gameplay - mwah. Chef’s kiss. Best puzzle battler ever made. Makes Puyo Puyo look like a big pile of crap.

You know, if the mushroom cap is part of Toad’s head, that makes it his genitals

Agree to disagree, I think it’s cool.

How has there not been a Vampire Hunter D MMO yet? Hunter unions for classes/guilds, all the settings and monsters from the books, your very own hand parasite, it practically writes itself.

Pfsh, where’s our MTG/Yu-gi-oh crossover decks

“TEAL’C! Where are you going?”
“I am leaving. You are about to explode.”

Drop your sexual harassments lawsuit and stop trying to unionize, or our human resources department will sweep over your team like a tidal wave of blood and nightmares! And firings.

This isn’t a simulation game, though. It’s an Ubisoft-style cartography simulator with cherry-picked inconveniences added to artificially generate tension. To go back to your analogy, it’s like if Powerwash Simulator had a mechanic where sometimes the city water supply would lapse, and you had to sit on hold with the…

I knew this game would bomb as soon as I heard about the fuel/breakdown mechanics. There’s a reason Aloy doesn’t have to feed her robot horses, why The Boss can call their homies to drop off a fresh car any time, why V’s million dollar supersport gets replaced for 400 eddies if it gets exploded with gunfire. NOBODY…

I humbly nominate Matthew Holness, but in character as Garth Marenghi

I fixed it for you

I want to like it because hard angles are so rare in modern car design, but yeah, every part of it screams “we built it this way because it was easier to put together!” It’s also worth noting that car windows and windshields are curved in large part to resist impact breakage, while all of the windows here appear to be…

I’m holding out for an open-world fully 3D Elona.

“Sure the Ford Fiesta really looks like a shoe, but it could look EVEN MORE LIKE A SHOE.”

Ascent was not the fabulous sci-fi Diablo Kotaku made it out to be for some reason, but it felt a LOT like Nox, which was good enough for me.

A while back I watched a very insightful youtube video in which the commenter hypothesized that movie monsters are all boringly identical because after years of monsters being people in lumpy suits, CG has now permitted all movie monsters to be spindly and skeletal. Video games have a simpler problem: we’ve been…

As a former Battlefield enthusiast, I can confirm this phenomenon effin’ sucks.