Great "article", terrorist. When does your Visa expire? Hopefully sooner than later because obviously, you're of no use to society. 

Phrasing

Getting the other team to foul you in the box. Happy 3rd birthay.

To be fair, the acquisition of an accounting software company is the kind of thing that would make anyone giddy.

The Los Angeles Clippy

And Chuck Daly coached the Dream Team in 92. Good thing he was there or we might not have won the gold.

USMNT should have a rule that you can’t play for them if you do play in the MLS.

They’ve got an entire office building filled with qualified people working on how best to absolutely fuck this up. They’ve spared no expense.

Maybe they’ll make Jill Ellis coach and start him at right back.

The USSF will relegate him to coming off the bench as punishment for not playing in the MLS.

“I mean he’s good and all, but have you seen this guy playing for Columbus? He’s just tearing it up and has earned the start over him.”

It’ll be very interesting to see how the USMNT manages to completely squander his entire prime...

The battle between Kane and Salah for 2nd place for EPL’s Golden Boot is gonna be intense this year.

Official request to Deadspin staff to stop referring to Tebow as our messiah and transfer that language to our True Lord and Savior Christian Pulisic.

Everyone knows you just have to drink three beers and add 30 pounds of belly fat to hit pitches like that. Angels, amateurs.

It really makes you Wonder.

It may add further to the game delays, but I believe a catapult should be integrated into the review process.