I read that as “Penises ‘are kind of scared.’” Which still kind of works.

“We feel protective of the guy — is he going to get erect? It’s a big exposure.

We get it you like Blake but you don’t have to go full Mossy Oak.

“Fuck Steve Harvey,” was met with resounding agreement in my family, which is rare. Steve Harvey is such a douche it brought my family together, I’ll call it a Christmas miracle.

“Please don’t hold it against the ladies.”

No, you don’t, LOL.

It does, actually. It’s like a very squeaky, very quiet fart.

I didn’t get them but kinda a cute story....I was at work at my new job trying to get them for my mom for Christmas (been there only two weeks) and was nervous about taking work time to try and buy them. One of my coworkers offered to sign on on her phone and computer with me to maximize the number of ny dates we…

I have the best connection ever - husband’s company has a suite in Vancouver so there’s several tickets to every hockey game and every concert. The boss will save us tickets to things we like. If you have to see bands at big stadiums, you may as well get a comfy seat, free food and booze, and a private bathroom to go…

Watching it right now as I decorate my tree for the first time without by husband, who died in July. If I broke one of the ornaments he bought you better believe I'd be crying. I agree with you, 1000 percent.

I absolutely love it when clips of this show end up on Last Week Tonight.

May he.

Oh fuck.

I hope my boss doesn’t mind me curling up under my desk next to my space heater and cry-sleeping for a few hours.

Every year these idiots get their red & green panties in a wad over hearing that local governments get asked to remove nativity scenes and other Christian religious symbols on government property. Even though separation of church & state means that no one religion should be celebrated by government entities.

...or child murder, for that matter. I think this person is confusing Old Testament God with Jesus, and I didn’t want to dignify them with an actual response because they’re just a troll trying to piss people off, so I chose not to engage.

The best part about the “Happy Holidays” hissy-fit is that those people think the phrase only came along in the 1990s and spread because of PC liberal wusses. But the phrase has been in use since at least the 19th century as a catch all to wish people a happy Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year.

Threatened. THREATENED?! I don’t even know what to do with that.

Apparently, acknowledging the 25+ other holidays that ALSO take place in December is the exact same thing as banning Christmas and feeding Christians to lions for entertainment.

As a retail worker, it isn’t about effing killing baby Jeebus with heathen resolve. It’s about the sheer number of holidays in an incredibly short period of time. I wait on 500-700 people a single shift. Every time I customize a departing wish of well being, it sticks, for months. Fourth of July, Mother’s Day, or…