Chris Hemsworth.

but can zoe defend that dumb beard

My Summer died in July of 2012 and I cried every day for months. She looked like the dog in the picture, too, but more reddish in color. Finally, a year and a half later, I finally felt ready for another dog. Incidentally, I call him Sammy!

Deep in the swamps of rural Louisiana is a very well-stocked J. Crew store.

Wait, so this nonsense I hear about brides being unable to eat at their own weddings is an actual thing?! If I can’t eat the awesome food that I’ve chosen for my (extremely imaginary) wedding, then I’m saving the cash, and each table will make do with a couple of tomato pies.

I suddenly regret not having a mashed potato bar in my house 24/7/365.

how did his nips look

Do you think they meant the hard times they went through in the media when they supported their father after he graphically pontificated about an atheist father watching his family being raped and murdered?

That's still terrible. God, who I'll remind you is omnipotent, could certainly make a person a good father without childhood abuse. Given how often childhood abuse leads someone to be an abuser, actually, you'd think an omniscient, omnibenevolent and omnipotent deity could come up with a better fucking plan.

I hate when people say that too. During the MH 214 news, a guy was interviewed who was supposed be on the flight and ended missing it (don’t remember the reason) but he refused to say that it was “God’s plan” that he was saved because it was insulting to the victim’s families and friends.

I understand that. But God is God, no? Such an analysis of the situation ignores the very big problem that God allowed the molestation to happen in the first place. It’s okay, though, because He used it to serve a purpose, right? To which I say, roundly, FUCK THAT SHIT. Could not God use his Godness to prevent the…

I think God had a plan for that.

Religion aside, I appreciate that people are talking about child molestation openly. Besides the actual abuse, the shame of it is a life long burden. The more people feel relaxed about admitting it happened to them, and they were NOT to blame, the better.

“I sympathize with going through hard times in the media.”

Damn....that was almost rational and thoughtful. SoClose.

Am I the only person who is beginning to wonder if Chet Haze and Charlie Sheen are actually the same person? Think about it. They both have fathers who are fairly sane and likable. They both have older, more talented brothers. Neither of them can keep their mouths shut when a camera is around. And they should both…

I’m not sure I believe Chet Haze about what his parents have and have not said to him.

“My parents, they be like telling me to stay off social media period.

You know, I may be a loser with no friends, and I may have had no social life in college because I was hustling at a bunch of jobs to pay for tuition, but I can happily say that I never got burned with a cigarette and I never drank pee/vomit. Because I’ve never drank pee/vomit, I kinda feel like I’m ahead in life to…