at least it had a happy ending.

Get born into a political dynasty next time.

you are wonderful.

Protected me and my brother (and my unborn sister - surprise!) from my abusive father by leaving him. Worked herself into exhaustion raising us, I know I was especially troublesome being diagnosed bi-polar at an incredibly young age and still managing to get a degree in computer science, learn fluent German (literally…

I just want to be clear, I am making a joke not trolling. Being able to divorce yourself of a toxic parent is something that takes incredible strength to do and all the props go to those who manage to do it.

#banmothersday

I am remarkably comfortable with menstruation, why that’s just the stuff of life!

I want to take Yoganerd MD’s profile pic and make a burner account called “Ariana Grande: Well Documented Baby”.

That is all

aparently I look 50 when I’m at work but when I clean up I lose 2d20 years.

quick someone call his bluff!

Once again Janice is snubbed.

“I FLIPPED HIM OFF”

New plan!

Vegan down seems like a good idea.

If I dated someone and found they did not tip, that would be the end of it. Period.

Years on the wal-mart board of directors makes her hard to vote for, I need a truly pro labor candidate and I am not sure Hillary is my woman.

I am humbled by ladyparts, not for the first time, not for the last time.

Kill myself rather than fuck or marry any of those three.

As a Northern Virginia resident, being shackled to a Mississippi like land mass of racist yokels with their awful sonogram probes is frequently embarrassing.

I bring either a folding chair or a hammock but you cannot pay me to sleep in it, its for relaxing at the campsite.