That’s exactly right.

It’s department elimination 101: put an asshole in charge who doesn’t give a fuck about the department, cut the budget, cut the staff, and bury those remaining in needlessly officious paperwork. 

That would be so much work.  And USFWS can’t keep up with their listing demand now.

Autoplay videos.

I install and service CCTV and EAS systems. You’ve probably seen these things installed at the entrances to places like Walmart:

My minions, they annoy me. But they don’t annoy me for long.

I work at a university library and we have a system for printing and photocopying that requires people to purchase (not get, purchase) a reloadable card to pay for whatever they want to print/copy. It is the WORST. Constantly breaking down, or the cash box filling up (it only takes cash, no credit/debit) which stops…

IT dude here, we switched to thin-client 3 years ago and NOTHING but headaches.  NOTHING.

Vista is like an abusive drunk who alienated his whole family, but later sobered up and is sad that none of them love him. The Vista rollout majorly shafted a ton of people who bought machines that were ‘Vista Ready’ but it turned out that meant only that Vista would boot and be unable to do anything else.

My mass spectrometer of course. The calibration always drifts off about four atomic mass units. Very embarrassing results...

Everything Thin-Client / Citrix / Remote Desktop based for anything other than telecommuting options. Every office and call center that forces their employees to use that shit to “save money” are beyond clueless. You’re going to lose every dollar you saved the very first time you have a network outage and have 100…

I’m sure it is a Samson and Delilah kind of thing. Do you want to be weak?

Seriously. A dude eating pussy is literally one of the most heterosexual things possible, is it not?

18. Eat pussy

One of the most freeing things I’ve ever done as a man is getting out of that mindset: Being terrified that other people might think less of me as a man if I do something “unmanly.” Fuck that. Being a man is whatever I choose it to be at any given moment. And if that means blasting J-pop in my car while I drive to…

Perfect reference is perfect.

Pretty sure most of the things on this list can be done if you say "No homo" immediately before or within 5 minutes after.

59. Suggest that men who commit crimes against women receive appropriate legal consequences

That’s some raunchy Jules Verne fan fic all up in your head.