Saltwater crocs are found in Indonesia and northern Australia and they are adapted to life in saltwater - they’ve been encountered on the high seas. We don’t have them in the New World. The crocs you saw would have been American crocodiles or Morelet’s crocodiles. As I recall, American crocs have some ability to…

Can we call them nudists if they’re wearing shoes?

That’s right. Beauty, eh?

You have to get the eggs as well. Gas doesn’t do the trick. Heat does.

When my apartment had them, I bagged everything, rented an unheated storage locker, and left my stuff there for a few weeks. Our winters get down to -30 C and this seemed to do the trick.

Embrace the strangeness. Feel the exhilaration!

Yes, of course. Although there are people with very strange ideas of fun out there. You never know what’s going to float somebody’s boat.

There’s nothing on your list about eating an ice-cream cone with lethal and suggestive tongue action.

The rectum being widely known to be a major endocrine organ. Just brimming with hormones, ready to spill.

Really? Seriously?

Jeez, you really had a lot to get off your chest there, didn’t you?

That whole idea of having the contents of the bowels and bladder not making the trip with you is good, but there’s room for improvement.

Yeah, John Wayne toilet paper - didn’t take any shit off nobody.

Or wonderful, if you’re twelve years of age or less.

It would be very entertaining for those around you, however.

God, let’s hope not.

Just what I was going to say. The technique goes back some ways.

Sounds as though they’re still floundering around, though, and might still wind up in a pickerel.

Never in a million years. They’ll have to pry it from his cold, dead hands.

+1 Very vivid metaphor.