normal human being: (compassion) “oh im sorry, let me try to compromise, how about ill stand out here in the wind and spray some febreeze on myself before i come in”
(it doesnt do shit but at least they’re trying)

It’s not often that the creator of something is wrong about his own creation.

Steve Wilhite, inventor of GIF, says soft-g, it’s how it originally was pronounced, and the losers who insist on hard-g are just johnny-come-latelys to the interwebs.

This is a weird question. The sauces all have different purposes.

The sauce I’m going to dip a chicken nugget into isn’t likely to be the same sauce I’m dipping a wonton into which isn’t likely to be the same sauce I’m going to dip a donut hole into.

Therefore, the only possible answer is “not Ranch.”

This is a weird question. The sauces all have different purposes.

The sauce I’m going to dip a chicken nugget into…

Does anyone else find it interesting that the plane uses the same colors as..... THE RUSSIAN FLAG???!!!

I bet this plane will disperse chemtrails all over the flat earth too!

Up next.. Trump mandates Amtrak use the same RUSSIAN colors on their trains.

This was always our rule growing up. In addition to splitting something in half for snacks - one cuts, the other picks, preventing an unfair “half” when the cutter and the picker are the same person.

Meh. “Nice” is in the eye of the beholder so there’s no way to win that one. If it’s prix fixe, Manhattan's Latest Hot Spot, or Valentine’s Day, ok sure, keep the kids at home. But there are far too many people whose idea of a “nice dinner” means Longhorn Steakhouse or Bonefish Grill. And far too many grumps who start…

We’ll just plant the trees very close together along the entire US/Mexico border. Two birds with one stone! 

That is because it is not possible to make a steak unsexy my friend.

‘Alexa, who is the King of Spain?’

 Can’t wait to get my whole family VR sets, so we can really start to bond.

Are you saying it was an AXE attack?

The person in front of me is not going to recline, whether they want to or not, because there is physically no space for them to do so. But I don’t care for these devices. Why? Because to use them, you have to be able to lower the tray table. If you can do that, then you have at least some room you can sacrifice.  I…

Her parents told her the family had native ancestry, and she believed them. This is somehow is a scandal, so we should choose the guy who believes the sound of windmills causes cancer.

Gizmodo: “Google image recognition mislabels black people as animals in some cases! Evvvvil uncaring black hating tech company!”

One day I hope to be as funny as you!

Rapiers?

I recently picked up the Contigo Matterhorn from Amazon. It’s a sleek stainless steel bottle that keeps water cold for hours, is 32 oz, and thin enough to fit in my car cup holder and backpack water bottle pocket. The lid is a screw top and can be unscrewed from the base for easier cleaning. I highly recommend this…

I recently picked up the Contigo Matterhorn from Amazon. It’s a sleek stainless steel bottle that keeps water cold…

Equal parts mayonnaise and sour cream, add garlic & onion powders and salt. A little cider vinegar if you want to add some tang.

Ranch: You have been judged! (BLAM)