Fuck the Cubs. Fuck Andre Dawson. Fuck Wrigley Field. Fuck The Ivy. Fuck Harry Carey. Fuck Moises Alou. Fuck Joe Maddon. Fuck Sketchers Shoes. Fuck The Curse of the Billy Goat. Fuck Eric Stoltz. And Most Importantly Fuck You.

I’ve always had a fantasy where they bring out the family and kids, and when they say turn around or Let’s welcome home Corporal Marine Todd, the family turns around overjoyed and then they wheel out a casket with the flag draped over it.

The degree to which the NFL continuously insults the public’s intelligence is maddening. Can we please just accept all of the horseshit hypocrisy, dispense with the horseshit ritualistic pomp and circumstance, and watch fucking football?!