Stop eating paint

So I have 12 years until I become a curmudgeonly bastard about music? Thanks science!

Seriously though he's the DJ Khaled of the late 90s and early 2000s, who the hell is gonna wanna see him?

I'm sure people in Europe and Asia can't wait to see all of the worst parts of his songs performed LIVE IN CONCERT!

Why not? He's the last one!

Then where are you supposed to hide the bugs and other assorted surveillance devices?

All the money was in smuggling Levis 30 years ago, there was no room for t-shirts.

Sssshh, it's okay so long as they don't do it in the US.

Is your reality written by an older, more nervous and pedophilic version of you?

Joke's on all of you, it's going to be set in the same place and time as the first movie just in the women's bathroom.

That's for getting the last Trailer Park Boys movie in theaters when we didn't.

Everybody knows that Drake only performs at sub sandwich festivals, where they serve his signature Hero to 100 sandwiches in "rolling through the six (inch) with my woes" size.

The fact that they were able to get in with a group helping people escape from North Korea is good enough for me.

46 news outlets you won't believe pander to millenials!

Is Vice even aimed at people who live outside Brooklyn, let alone anybody outside a particular age range?

Did you pick those up on the way to get your Metamucil, granddad?

Is this the point where the AV Club commentariat pretends that singles are the best songs on albums for the sake of mocking Tidal?

I would never pay for Tidal, but I'd much rather see Jay Z perform 22 Twos than some trash off of Magna Carta Holy Grail.

I hope they don't put these in every McDonalds, I'd go bankrupt every time I smoke weed.

Some people never advanced beyond picture books in school, I guess.