You got that one right on the “JMoney!” The government should have no role whatsoever in protecting its people from potential dangers, only dealing with the aftermath by finding the right minority group to blame. Sig hei...erm... Libertarians disunite!

Inconceivable! They can’t even cheat on the emissions!!!

Please tell me that's the paint job.

Hush your muffins, we're having fun!

Definitely oxidizer, right? [/sarcasm font]

Heisenberg approves of this plan. It's safer than the meth lab.

Yep. A $30 million dollar stock LX (automatic, of course) Civic.

We won't know if there are any ninja turtles for at least 13 more years.

Well, if it's just the payload, why worry? ;-)

Neutral:

AWD ALL THE THINGS!!!

Agreed! Although, this was my first thought.

“What Can Lexus Do To Get Sexy?”

Come on, they’re not even the same color!

Translation: “He was family when he crashed Lexuses into Suzukis. Things were going well. We were BROTHERS. Then, he went and bought an Xterra. He’s dead to me.”

But that one is GERMAN!!!

To be fair, the column shifter is wasted with a giant console, as Drew8MR points out. But column shifters should come back and be paired with pseudo-manual paddle shifters!

I’m sure I’m in the minority here, but column-mounted gear shifts are wonderful. They mean you don’t have to waste 6 dadgum cubic feet for no good reason, just because someone else defined current car aesthetics. Besides, if it’s a giant SUV, they should be bench seats anyway! “I need you to be here with me, not way…

My condolences. I’m sorry for your non-loss.

Early 2000’s Subaru engines are often the weak link. We’re about to retire a 2005 Impreza on its second engine. First engine only lasted 150k before dying in spectacular fashion. Kinks got worked out with the newest engines and if you can find a late-model for under $10k, I’d snap it up.