Ugh. The thing I hate most about clan Kardashian is that they spread the famous around. Kris is brilliant in that regard; she made non-entities famous, and now whoever her famous former non-entities touch suddenly is ∞ more famous than they had been before. Then, whoever those former non-entities touch also get news…

But it makes so much sense! WI companies can now continue to pay employees lower than a living wage, and it will now be completely on the shoulders of the employee. If the employee starts complaining about not earning enough to escape poverty, the employer can point to the state’s laws and offer the employee a sheet…

I’m a tall/strong grown ass man, but as I was stretching after a run yesterday, a hornet landed on my shoulder. I sprinted about 50 feet shimmying my shoulders before I decided to take my shirt off and run to my apartment. The hornet was probably sitting there laughing at me because I looked like the guy in the video,…

I don’t like the idea of teaching our smaller mammalian friends how to operate machinery. It can only lead to an eventual war with evil sea otters!

Russell already has a divorce under his belt and I think Ciara has a child out of wedlock, but you know it is the premarital P in V sex that Jesus is frowning at. Damn, I’m a judgmental asshole. You two do you two (or not!).

“I’m a nationwide producer.” You produce what?

One of the true laws of nature is that wherever women congregate, men will congregate there solely to try to woo said women.

In 3rd grade, I remember being a part of a group of boys that teased girls for not being athletic/playing sports. One girl in particular objected to us, and when the day came in gym class where we tested who ran the fastest 60 yards, that girl smoked me and every boy in my grade except for two. In our culture,…

Damn, this is starting to feel like Germany-Brazil. That 3rd Carli Lloyd goal though!

It ain’t a YouTubeVideo, but I guess we can be glad that NC can prosecute people for “going armed for the terror of the public.”

Drinking beer and whiskey, watching Independence Day on AMC. In case you’re wondering, it is Independence Day all day on AMC. I believe the BBC described the following as, “the most jaw-droppingly pompous soliloquy ever delivered in a mainstream Hollywood movie”

My favorite fourth memory is the last summer (of 5) that I spend working for my city’s parks and rec. We hosted our festivities at a pretty big park that bisected part of a wetland area and had 5 large empty grass fields to use for parking lots. Since I was experienced, I got to direct parking at the furthest and…

Am I supposed to hold this against the most liberal person who may (just possibly) garner a nomination for president??? The NRA (which rates Sanders an F) is the most bloodsucking union in the US, and I’m a liberal who actually believes in horrible bloodsucking unions. The only thing Republicans have going for me is I…

What is America coming to when a white, kevlar-protected, active service member can’t even bring a loaded AR-15 (with several additional magazines of ammunition) to a crowded mall without civilians panicking and calling the cops????

Speaking of Judy Greer, she’s just joined the cast of Wilson..

In this day and age, aren’t we all fringe celebrities?

I’m pretty sure this map is bars per grocery stores.

We’re always drunk, we need to fight with somebody!

Seinfeld and Friends both had plenty of main characters who would be insufferable in real life, but the way the shows treated them was always why I loved Seinfeld so much more. Look at each respective show’s last scene to demonstrate how the insufferability was treated:

The American legal system is a perversion of what it was intended to be (and that was even a perversion, since it allowed for people to be property) because the privileged will always have a stronger chance to rise above the rule of law. However, in this case, 3 of the 4 rapists are black and 1 of the 2 released for…