Just remember not to eat the Claymore.

Yes, the apocalypse is coming, but please don’t call me “Shirley.” 

I won’t be surprised if he ends up getting a similar job again in another county.

“No one in America should starve, because they can always go to the Country Club and get that divine fried chicken that Marvela makes. They just have to get it to go and pick it up at the kitchen door because, ... well, you know.”

Time to announce my new foundation: AR-15s for Poor Missouri Children of Color. 

Because what better way to report on a teen illegally carrying an AK-47, which he allegedly used to kill two people

blamed the shooting victims for being out past the curfew

Sounds like a “... Lives Matter” spinoff. 

Why is a Canadian (defence?) defending this asshole? 

And that’s an AR-15, not the AK-47 mentioned above.

I remember watching the TV evangelist John Ankerberg tell us how the Catholic Church was just a cult and un-Christian. 

“Ribeye Catholic”? The interwebs and even Urban Dictionary couldn’t help me with this one. What’s that mean? 

It’s like Sophie’s Choice without any of the tension.

Wait until he starts dating white girls. 

Yes, we should never be scared of harmless, nerdy white boys:

I assume then that the POTATUS is in the “giant ball of tongues” phase of his demon-hood. 

I’m sure it was, but they managed to find a loophole that gave him a $10M severance package. 

He’s from the Stephen Miller School of Aging. 

Statement from Mr. Jim Crow: “Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

Dollar Tree has stuck to the $1 only, but I know Family Dollar has higher priced stuff.