To the people reading this and posting negative comments about soccer - Have fun getting beaten over the head for the next 2 months by "stupid soccer news" while most of the world is loving it. I'm sure the fact that your favorite WR made a sick catch in mini camp is wayyyyy more interesting.

You're required to by FIFA - and they MUST play as keepers. North Korea ran into that problem in 2010.

You really gave 110% with this comment...

Boy, the team is sure going to miss your dedicated support

I guess it wasn't totally unexpected Donovan was left off, but still feels pretty shocking. The end of an era

Punch Drunk Love was truly a great movie and I loved Sandler in it. Paul Thomas Anderson turned the Sandler persona in on itself and gave us a raw look at the anger and sadness that lurked just below the surface. I will always treasure that movie and so should Sandler. That took real acting and skill.

Tolerable + Adam Sandler = Punch Drunk Love.

If it weren't a real soccer ghost, we wouldn't be allowed to use the tag "Soccer Ghosts." Check and mate, ghost truthers.

I look at jailbait all the time. I've oogled plenty of 20/21 year olds myself, being 27. These jailbait girls (someone taps me, whispers this is not "jailbait") Ah. Well we seem to have a bit of a communication error here.

Barely an adult, eh? So does that mean she's barely legal? I think there may be a market for this.

So is this a game with no rules?

That's "The Bart The", Herr glutton.

The victims in London did all hop out twice to go for a piss.

Drowning (and burning) in hot molasses (that wasn't even used for food!) is definitely worse. Boston FTW.

But philanthropy is better than government programs because free market!!

Partial findings by Nelson Forensics indicate that some support structures were not designed in a way that would hold the weight anticipated on that level of the stadium.

"Here's your problem. See this support column? Looks like it was designed by a guy who learned calculus at a school which spent its money on a football stadium instead of a decent teacher."

No one wants to date. People just want to fuck.

That's what always gets me about these things. Who WANTS to date? Being married has advantages: my clothes are cleaner because I'm no longer allowed to keep a decades old shirt (for some reason); I have someone to talk to; I've learned how many different kinds of soaps exist; but mostly: I DON'T HAVE TO DATE ANYMORE.…

The hard part is keeping his wife from finding out that they're in an open relationship. Everything else is easy.