Based on the less-than-healthy nature of the stools, police are looking for a man afflicted with anal fjords.

After carefully mulling this over, Roger suspends you for 8 games because, in your words: “we’re chalking this up as a coincidence.”

What a strange Hill to dye on.

I Know What You Did Last Summer, But It Was Dark So I May Not Know What You Did Last Summer, But In Any Case If You Tell Your Parents About What You Did Last Summer, I’ll Kill Your Fucking Family

On the plus side, you get to wear the color purple a lot more. On the not plus side, we give Kobe the keys to all our players’ houses. He usually doesn’t use the keys at all, but sometimes he does and the great thing is you never know when he will! When he does, it’s just typical Kobe pranks like killing your dog in…

They might not want him on the West coast, but a lot of the South would love to get involved with Cousins.

NOT NEARLY EMPHASIZED ENOUGH:
Despite taking his shirt off, Harbaugh still wore full length khakis.

Oh he’s definitely a subscriber:

That, maybe, and that her self-worth is based on her youth and beauty and she is terrified to lose them, because then she’ll have nothing.

50 Shades of Grey Matter

If they really want to improve, they’ll trade for Mike Trout.

Venezuelan fans are always causing quite Caracas.

The Patriots Social Media Team.....

Hey you know what? These idiot owners refuse to acknowledge what fans have known for years. Goodell is a fucking moron. So let Goodell rule with an iron fist. At some point one of these dipshit owners will realize that Goodell is part of the problem. But right now, the NFL is a cash making machine and he’s willing to…

more like roger badell.

Man, he’s gonna be pissed when someone reads this article to him.