In case you’re having trouble making out all the audio, here’s a transcript of how that all went down:

Late last year I was sitting at a bar in the Jacksonville airport. An old man sat down on the stool next to me, and proclaimed/asked, “I don’t drink, can I get a diet coke?” I was down a few large beers at the time and gave into him wanting to strike up a conversation. ESPN was on TV, and he kept interjecting with…

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I think any appeals to equity would be trumped by the mountain of paperwork and NCAA documents that expressly advise all parties that everything is non-binding. Its like if you turned down a job bc a company told you were their candidate without any sort of formal offer.

Reporter: Can you describe how you felt when you were offered the scholarship and then when they rescinded it just two weeks before signing day?

Anchorman 2 wasn’t bad. It wasn’t good, either, but I’d rather get stoned and watch that than 3 hours of Knicks basketball.

Yeah. A receiver barely staying in bounds as he receives a perfectly thrown ball is the epitome of the prevent defense. Were you even watching the game?

I know it’s common to break out a pun thread every time something like this comes up, but someone’s gotta take a stand and put up some resistance.

No income tax in New Hampshire either (or sales tax for that matter), but somehow it’s top 10 in spending per student.

I’m udderly amazed at how much Kotaku is milking this Nintendo Switch thing. We get it, y’all are dairy excited. But let’s not lose perspective. Some people have real beef with Nintendo right now, and I have to say, some of that is really a lot of bull. Still, if Nintendo wants to keep up, they really need to hoof it,…

This is going to be a blast stoned.

Mark,

Mark,

Mark,

At least they didn’t equivocate and suppose two opposite scenarios: one in which Boogie were wanted and another in which he weren’t.

God, the schadenfreude will be palpable if NFL owners end up paying for a new San Diego stadium after the publicly-funded option was soundly rejected. Perhaps this will embolden municipalities everywhere.

Who would have thought Seth Meyers would emerge as the hard-hitting late-night personality?