search your feelings, you know it to be you

Sitting on that has got to hurt your BACK BACK BACK.

Quoth the Raven, nevermore.

Jerry Jones issued a statement that as long as the suspension was for drugs, and not for almost killing a woman with your bare hands, he has no problem with the league’s decision.

“Go on,” said Berman. “How it’s gonna be. We gonna get a little place.”

Fun fact: This dog has bitten fewer hockey players than Alexander Burrows…

How do we know that wasn’t the first time he hit a woman? Maybe he’s had like 3 “2nd chances”.

James Franco’s 4th brother there looks like he is about to be touched inappropriately by an old homeless Russian man.

He tried to steal shaving gear. They didn’t press charges, but Belk did want their Razorback.

You can’t go around slamming cliques - they’re sensitive. Be gentle.

Pictured: Phil Jackson’s iPad

Ahhhh, a love triangle.

He probably got caught slamming another posse.

Coach: “Who owns Nickelodeon? I don’t know.”

Meriweather: Mr. Belichick, the bartender was hoping he could get paid now.

As a Jew, working on Christmas was awesome.

My favorite:

Have we started the countdown until her partner dies to complete the trope?

Thunder GM: Hey Russ, I’m just calling to make sure you know the new Durant rules.

Fuck that. It’s like a jeep now.