The best ones die at 27:

“Fast live, young die, and a good-looking corpse make.”

Betelgeuse! Betelgeuse! Betelgeuse!

And it was filled with marsh gas.

... was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.

It was a weather balloon, duh.

what is more likely, that a non-aerodynamic object that doesn’t emit heat can go from 50,000 to 100 feet in an instant, or your sensor equipment is malfunctioning?

Except for the fact that Commander Fravor and his wingman also saw this object with their own eyes. It’s not just the equipment and the video that saw it, it was two experienced pilots that witnessed it and moved to intercept it.

Agreed. My girlfriend lives in a neighborhood with a healthy supply, and they have trapped me in my car when I was going over to visit. And I have had a stare down with one on a local hiking trail. (I am convinced I won that one, but the turkey may well feel he actually did.) They are still less destructive than deer,…

I mean, they are essentially dinosaurs.  When you remember that, it makes sense.

Obligatory:

Where is Carrie Nation when you need her?

Given that these turkeys are spending November terrorizing an area known as Holiday City within the town of Tom’s River makes me think that turkeys have mastered some concept of irony. That’s one of the signs of the apocalypse, right?

... and would they dream of sheep?

Yeah SW trailers have never made me cry before. Carrie Fisher dropping “always” put me over the edge.

Looked like a charred vader suit.  Maybe it was reanimated or maybe it was an illusion like in the cave on Dagobah.

had to look him up on Wikipedia. I’d never heard of a “straight edge lifestyle” until today but apparently he follows it:

‘I will bet $100 is a reference to the Germs’ Darby Crash and the much more aggressively gross punk icon GG Allin’

Oh my. I guess I’m going to have to start watching the wrestling again.

An Allin who doesn’t cover himself in his own piss and shit while performing? Count me out