A prepackaged mozzarella ball fell out the grocery bags and was left in the trunk of my car. Innocently, as we were putting away groceries, my wife and I didn’t realize it. This ball was left in the trunk over the weekend baking in the nice, hot Florida sun. Not taking the car out during the weekend, I got into it on…

Another open thread? What did we do to deserve this?

Look, I’m from that era. If you’re going to go for a banging New Orleans rapper...Mystikal > Juvenile.

Try having the confidence of a black girl who just got accepted into every single Ivy League college.

There have been many occasions when I have drunk 12 Buds. I have never broken the 3 slice barrier with Papa Johns.

As Deadspin’s resident expert in manicure matters, I must quibble: That shade of mauve is dull and doesn’t flatter her skin tone. Furthermore, the varnish has flooded her cuticles, probably because they were over-trimmed/pushed back too far. The effect is to make her nail beds look like an infinity pool.

It’s extremely rude to point this out. Also, I wouldn’t want to risk getting clocked by one of those hooves.

I have no idea if training service dogs or making prosthetics is as rewarding as fighting fires, but you and I have different foci. I don’t care that the job makes them feel good if the condition of them having it allows us to pay them next to nothing and consider them lucky to get anything at all. Inmates feeling…

There is none, just as there isn’t really a male equivalent of “bitch.” Not all terms have one to one gender counterparts.

I’ll just leave this here:

I don’t think women are responsible for their husband’s actions. In fact, I don’t think women are EVER responsible for men’s actions. I think a lot of women can be in complicated relationships with men who they love, and it might take a lot for them to leave him.

I don’t know or even care if this is true, but I would love for it to become Kinja schtick whenever something happens for someone in the commentariat to chime in, “That’s my [insert relationship] and I don’t like who [he/she/it] has become when they [insert crux of the story].

You just needed to find your niche clientele. There’s a lid for every pot out there.....

She posed on Mitch McConnell?

[sonorous fart noise]

The problem with that analogy is that nothing Hefner did had a fraction of the positive impact LBJ’s social policies did.

This is the worst game of Guess Who I’ve ever seen.

sure, another britt trying to tell us americans how to act...

Precocious Pipsqueak Purloins Prince’s Popcorn

Sad Julienne Moore in 30 Rock: Go Pats.