This is all good advice. I’ll add - don’t yell at the dog. (And if you even think about hitting the dog, I swear to god...) even if you catch him IN THE ACT. Imagine it this way - A giant kicks in the door to your bathroom while you are shitting, picks you up by the scruff of the neck while screaming terrifying…

Oh yeah, I forgot that puppies whine at night. That’s because you made the classic mistake and only got one puppy. I got my two heathens on the same day and they cuddled up in their crate the first night and have been best good friends ever since. Everybody always asked me “OMG how can you handle two of them??” and my…

I COMPLETELY did not mean for the typo but I am very glad it happened. cause that dude needs to chillax man

Starred for the (presumed) typo.

In my experience, dramatic irony is more effective than surprise. That’s why Shakespeare tells you that Romeo and Juliet will kill themselves at the very beginning of the play. I think the feelings some people have that knowing plot details in advance lessens their enjoyment are most likely mistaken.

Yeah...was expecting something amazing, not a reinterpretation of Belle’s ball gown from Beauty and the Best.

Another example of how science is *oh so very important* - and that we can’t *ever* let the immature superstitious theocrats hijack curriculums, legislation, etc. and take us back to the dark ages.

It could be worse.

Hate to be pithy about this, but if she’s in a women’s bathroom, then there are just women in there.

1. If a child is transgender and identifies as male, they’re actually your son, not daughter. Therefore they are not a young woman using a bathroom with young men, they are a young man using a bathroom with young men.

I was getting a bit of a Liberace vibe.

I prefer to think of her post as some masterful as fuck shade.

Bey didn’t almost fall - gravity momentarily forgot who it was fuckng with.

Speaking as a big guy who has flown with some frequency: I get it, fat’s gross. It’s especially gross when it’s attached to somebody else and touching you. No one knows this better than the fat person who has to look at themselves in the mirror every day, and I am well aware it’s 100% my fault that I’m fat and you…

Fat guy here (tall and fat, the airplane double whammy).

The problem isn’t United or Delta...the problem is, frankly, Joe Consumer...you see Joe Consumer wants to fly from A to B for $5...he shops exclusively on price...the reality is that air travel would be great if everyone was happy to pay double and a 300 seat airplane could be a 150 seat airplane...but consumers…

Right, yes. Our bodies have ways of shutting things down.

Ok THIS is who she reminds me of! Now I can live my weekend in peace.

What about “Urban Fervor,” that other celebrated Kevin Grisham novel?

“Yoga Hosers” isn’t quite “Rural Juror”, but I keep thinking how awkward it sounds.