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Rozelle’s Bagman
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NASCAR is blatantly unfair. The car is heavy, violent, abusive and aggressive with four wheels, whereas the driver is only a small, greasy Spaniard. #bobgriese

No motorcycle helmet reference? Clearly a forgery. #nflupdates

Does Oregon only have one hair stylist? #

Needs more nightmare ant #shoes

We got a Zodiac video just before the commenter purge. Bristol, you are so fucked. #mediameltdowns

@ASox: Always uplifting when the copy desk undermines a screed with just the right hed. #garrettbroshuis

Please tell me that foto isn't a Deadspin re-enactment. #whimsy

1) Never a borrower or bookmaker be. —me

Obviously no one here has ever played Mah Jongg at a competitive level. #ronantynan

@UpstateUnderdog: Mine went to gawker.com, where it still persists.

From: Gerbil (Gerbil@deadspin.com)

And he knows what he's got to do