“Hey, Peter. Can you, like, look my article over for me?”

I would fuck Sean Spicer in the mouth for $38,000/yr.

Right? Gizmodo will go toe-to-toe with a billionaire in court, run a controversial celebrity sex tape, bait a sitting presidential administration with a fake password skimmer, and sue the Department of Justice, but they draw the line at identifying a guy who looks like another guy? Seems an odd place to draw the line.

A certain pro sports franchise told Deadspin Wednesday that the man was not its team president, and that there would be “consequences” if Deadspin pursued the story.

I just want you to know that every time I hear the Darkthrone song “Ravishing Grimness” I sing it as “Ramblin Grimace”

These??

Wow, this guy just can’t stop killing people. 

This guy has yet to make it through 12 steps, let alone an entire staircase. 

While I agree that the vast majority of any given human’s efforts will probably affect the universe at-large not one fucking bit, seeing the process of ‘living’ as completely pointless has extremely limited value. I mean, when the city comes calling, looking for their money for the water, if I use the ‘in a hundred…

John Calipari. He has his many faults but makes no bones about being the conduit for those kids to move onto more lucrative endeavors. It’s like a one year unpaid internship. And thus, he is a dick, but not an asshole.

Peter King came to my town once. Went to a diner and loved the coffee so much he drank four pots. Then he took a three flush shit. You could hear the splashing sounds from the sidewalk. Afterwards he comes out smiling, telling us all, “Hell of a toilet you got there. American Standard. Nothing like it.”

that Cousins was leaving in free agency as soon as he could

Cut them some slack. Their Director of Ethics died in the Bowling Green Massacre and they’re still too distraught to find a replacement.

What isn’t wrong with a clip-on?

“Schneider was nominated for a 2000 Razzie Award for Worst Supporting Actor, but lost to Jar-Jar Binks.”—Roger Ebert

Three-way trade: