All vending machines shall henceforward be named “<thing_vended>-bot”! candibot! sodabot! japaneseunderwearbot... and so forth. (“What’s my size?” that’s a bit personal, isn’t it?)

When reporting on this sick event, please keep in mind that a large subset of your readership are now fully fake-news cautious and consequently will suspect that this whole nightmare is some set-up by those who will attempt to make the most media use of it.

compresses debris into discs

That really is stunning. So George W. Bush won’t end up being our dumbest president. This is really what the rural folks wanted, a president which wouldn’t leave them feeling threatened he is more knowledgeable than they are?

There’s no provision at all for a congressional committee to calls a psychological appraisal of a sitting president, right? Yet this is an entirely unpresidented sort’ve precedent (“At least let’s assume some concrete fake news that trump has a prescription for Benperidol.”)

Desperately hoped that this would resolve the all-critical issue of what Brendan Fraser thinks about trump. Because (you see) any plan to save Mr Fraser depends intimately upon whether he finds the fatuous orange aposteme acceptable in any regard. For if he does, then like all celebrities of similar mind they can best…

Somehow apropos of Basil Fawlty (John Cleese) administering a damn good thrashing to his car (a 1967 Austin 1100 ‘Countryman’)

Fairly effective definition of a sucky year: the prospect of jeb bush as president would’ve been a clear step upwards.

..and yet Buford Theodore Anderson of Onancock Virginia who enthusiastically campaigned for trump will not for a split second think that the growing threat of nuk-lear war was his fault in the slightest.

but but... krampus is santa’s accomplice, buddy, comrade in arms! how could santa betray krampus so?? (“next up: santa tosses ‘black peter’ to a bunch of white supremacists”)

I’m afraid there’s a solid case for ‘prior art’ on that one. (nearly everywhere one goes one sees buttholes on phones)

Establishing an intellect of an average 7 year old is still insufficient justification for impeachment, is it? (“and what makes you think he qualifies for ‘average’?!”)

“Telsa updates autopilot to drive you to a bar instead of your polling place - Musk meeting with trump pronounced unrelated”

Just sit back an imagine this big blue marble with fewer than a billion human souls upon it. whhhhy you could pollute and not recycle and spew carbon dioxide to your black heart’s content and the ever-lov’n biosystem would manage it for you. Probably be enough hydro-power (properly grided) for all forever... it would…

Sweet biscuits n’ gravy copper! nine outta ten no good two time’n soda thieves would just march in and grab two whole flapdoodle sodr-bottles right outta the door!

Is more massive, or shorter along the transport coordinate, necessarily “fatter”? or are we failing to take into consideration the density of Persian saints? (and is the Krampus dark antimatter?)

In order to maintain political power (to maintain wealth) the republican party has demonstrated an unexcelled willingness (more so than any other political faction (“thats just cuz the democrats are soo @#$n disorganized!”)) to cast any carefully crafted social benefit into the fire: universal suffrage, global peace,…

Baldwin trying his hardest to make Trump more absurd than he actually is

Here’s a handy shorthand: “Who the hell is xyzzy, trump’s pick for foobar?”: xyzzy is an rich old white guy who has wanted to destroy the department of foobar for most of his career, because he believes that foobar is the reason that he’s not an even richer old white guy. (“oh, and he’s probably an insane nazi…

Some EPA folks are sensibly assuming that their long brooded over reports will never see the light of day under the trump vow-to-destroy-the-EPA Scott Pruitt head of the EPA appointee. So dump your efforts now and seek employment in the private sector, (ironically probably vacated by the likes of Scott Pruitt; it’s…