"She opened her top and showed them her boobs, which Jennifer says were completely covered in 'the most beautiful angels and beautiful butterflies and baskets of flowers in pastel-colored tattoos.'"

All y'all can have your Abes and Teddys, I claim young Rutherford B. Hayes

"Come on, don't tell me none of you ever fantasized about getting it on with robot Abraham Lincoln."

Oh, he's behind all this.

Does Cardinal Muller have any idea of how offensive we Catholics feel about their attempted diminishment of the LCWR given the horrors he and the rest of his cronies fostered for years? Sorry dude - we are not that easily distracted.

TEAM NUNS 4 LIFE

Carry on, my wayward nuns. There'll be peace when you are done.

Should have pointed out but I'm not trying to be a troll. Just one of my many pet peeves is inaccurate use of assault rifle. I was in the military so they drilled nomenclature into our heads quite often.

I KNOW GUNS GOOD.

"Sorry for my language. I just can't deal with this."

These are the internet moments in which I feel so, so Canadian. My family owns guns, and I know hot to shoot them. I have hunted before and have no problem with guns as a tool for that.
All that being said: WHAT IN THE EVERLOVING FUCK GOES THROUGH YOUR HEAD WHILE PLANNING THIS?!
That's a deadly fucking weapon. …

But alas, according to the article, they are not doing well. My guess is the women you are talking about (I've seen them) work out so little they require only one sports bra, or they don't bother with a sports bra at all.

"It's a fashion club now," Turney said. "The days of wearing our old workout shorts and ratty T-shirts are over."

This is not the correct way to address the issue.

I had a market lamb for 4-H named porkchop. I had gallows humor even as child. Also, someone once named their market pig my name. These animals are usually given throwaway names since they're raised and slaughtered in the space of less than a year, so naming the animal after me was mostly a joke. But, lo and behold,…

In a similar vein, I've always thought it would be amusing to have a horse named "The Horse You Rode In On" and a dog named "The Dog That Bit You."

I always wanted to name a racehorse something like "Last Place" or "Glue Factory". I will finance my horse-owning through the profits of my hit rock band "Godawful Racket."

I realize I'm coming off like a total bitch, so I'm going to leave the bitch-place for a sec and just talk to you like I'd talk with my (adult) son and daughters.