I had a gingerbread house making party one Christmas, and when it ended we were all delighted with our little houses but puzzled about what to do with them, because we’re all single and couldn’t eat a whole one. So we donated them to Children’s Hospital and we all got VERY excited thank you notes. One of the guests…

Well, consent is not such a barrier if you just up and ASK, homeboy. Jesus. 

Empty? She got exactly what she wanted. My relatives are these people. Making their own decision about voting rather than voting as their ancestors have for generations is entirely foreign to them. The ONLY thing that could radicalize them was if one of the candidates actively opposed Starbucks, or Lululemon, or…

Kendall did exactly that.

You can get a Tribeca condo for $60,000? Suck it Vancouver, I’m moving to New York!

She has three puppies from the same litter, and their parent, the one with all the freckles.

That kicker is golden.

I do not get Dakota Johnson. She is so basic. Like, she’s the person you’d get for a role if you thought Sandra Bullock’s stunt double was too glamorous.

A friend of mine was her driver when she was in Vancouver on a project, and he said she was just a nice, sweet, professional Southern girl who was always ready for pick up at 5am and when she got in the car at the end of the day she’d ask where he wanted to go for dinner, and then they’d go pick up a bunch of his…

That family is famously screwed up.

Marie Kondo does not live in Canada. In fact, there are very few places in North America where you can open a bedroom window with impunity every single morning.

Testyria! Word of the year!

What, Elon Musk wanted a lock on the Craziest CEO of 2018 trophy?

Brown lives matter, bitch.

Her opponent’s website has now crashed from the people donating money.

Ditto. I get their hair is thinning. This is why god invented jaunty hats.

I don’t get it. That is EXACTLY who they’re selling to: The popcorn-haired women at Costco.

Unless you’re talking about bannock and the like, it’s ALL immigrant food.

It works SO WELL! I got one! And I live in Canada!

Slimane is a great menswear designer. He’s not good at anything else. The only really remarkable stuff from YSL during his years were the accessories, which were designed by someone else.