That was a nice story, but why is there poop in my underwear all of a sudden?

Your friend is an ass.

I don't care how poor I get, I will always shell it out for my Tampax. #priorities

I'm 36-years-old in the middle of a career change.

Fuck, we're supposed to feel ashamed about pooping, too? I just can't keep up.

No indeed. Some of the most functionally stupid people I've ever met have been in possession of doctorates from Oxbridge and the Ivies. But the fact that Davis was at such a tough socio-economic disadvantage and still made it to Harvard probably indicates that she has a pretty ferocious intellectual drive. It's not…

Fox News. Where a pretty woman pretending to be stupid can make her fortune.

Here's one I photographed on the MBTA. Asleep with hardcore porn open on his lap.

Best use of this I have ever seen. A+

I'm a lifelong native whose school year was postponed in because they needed to use our grounds for morgue spillover. Couple years back, I was riding my bike home from a friend's house at night & saw two beams of light in the sky, & thought, "Ooo, what party is that for? Is there a gala? Ohhhh. Right."

Don't worry, I forgot too. Is there a difference between before and after 9/11 Americans?

I really hope at least one of those women farted on him.

Ugh I know - I used to kinda like him, before this song happened, and everything went crazypants. But yeah, that link, so gross. And why must he constatntly defend his choices by saying "oh, my wife and her friends insisted these girls all be naked," like, own the fact that you've chosen to be a creep.

She's been 33 for like 3 years now.

I do, yes. I have SAD, so. Yeah.

Opium Eater's guide to a happy life:

It's really strange, but I have this complex where I think people assume I am a homeless person. I don't dress like I'm homeless, I don't talk to myself, I don't ask for change, but if my hair hasn't been washed in like two days and I'm not wearing makeup, I honestly wonder if people are looking at me like I'm…

I, as a teenager, feel that way sometimes. When I was a sophomore, the topic came up in my english class. My amazing teacher minored in psych, so she was knowledgable in the mysterious ways of the typical teenager. She told us about a common developmental milestone that people hit in adolescence. It's called imaginary…

I am pretty sure it's in your head (I'm not being snarky). I used to have that problem, as well. This is how I got over it: I pictured myself having a conversation with my friends. I tend to look at people, but not look-look. By that I mean, I notice people passing by. I don't stare at them, I just notice them passing…