Guillan-Barre comes in two varieties. Acute (almost always (*almost*)), and he’ll be fine in a few weeks or so. Chronic is really rare and he’ll never play football again.

Meanwhile, Jerry Jones remains infuriatingly healthy.

I cannot possibly imagine there being a safe general population for a child sex offender.

Doesn’t the federal prison system have units specifically for persons at high risk of injury in the general population? California does, at Corcoran. In addition to Charles Manson (until recently) and other celebrities, there’s a decent number of: guys who have renounced their gang affiliations; former law enforcement…

no thoughts, no prayers. 

Between Mary Jo’s fastball and the Pennsylvania grand jury report, that’s going to be a lot of retired priests.  

Was it Drysdale? Sounds like Drysdale. 

i want to live in the alternate dimension where Mattingly starts Urena against the braves in the first game of the series and, when he steps up to bat, mattingly just sits back and crosses his arms. Just to signal that he doesnt support that bullshit.

what I would like to see is the braves just get up there and bean every marlins player in sequence.

first batter, first pitch, beanball, pitcher thrown out, second batter, first pitch, beanball, pitcher thrown out etc until every player on the braves has thrown a beanball at a marlin and the whole team has been thrown…

Mattingly probably gave the okay to do the plunking in the first place. Or at least condoned it. He’s one of those unwritten rules dips. Frankly, this reeks of being able to dish it out but not take it.

Until the MLB starts issuing fines/auto-suspensions for every plunk or plunk-attempt, I’m okay with the Braves hitting every damn Marlins player in order.

In general I agree, but I’m also irritated by this move. Now the Braves will definitely plunk a different Marlins player, and I will have to deal with deep moral confusion over the whole thing.

He’s just following his mentor, Joe Torre, who for years refused to pitch Roger Clemens at Shea Stadium.

Ureña is definitely an asshole who deserves to get plunked only because his suspension wasn’t as long as it should have been... but Mattingly is doing a good job here protecting his player. Zero problem with this decision on his part.

I couldn’t help myself and read it, then scrolled the comments. God, we get some terrible ones here, but that whole scene is a giant circle jerk.

“while i lack in being unbelievably unfunny, I make up for in being a gigantic racist and misogynist” is basically the M.O. for about 85% of the content on that site.

To be honest, a lot of that reads like it could have come from Deadspin’s biggest celebrity, Drew Magary.

I cover stoolies with grass and leaves so the landscapers step on’em 

Croatia and the under for the contrarian bet vs an actual French guy, and I was dead wrong. I don’t mind losing the dough, but I hate losing to a frog.

Gulls games are awesome