That might become my new bio: The Pseudonym Jalopnik writers use for their worst takes.

Listen, I’m full of garbage takes and people liking me was never going to last long. But those advantages you mention are tiny! Yes they’re quieter and more aerodynamic, but by a margin that’s likely imperceptible to your wallet or ears with today’s sculpting and insulation.

I’m here for a good time not a long time.

Yes

Yes.

Taking some risks so early in the internship. I like the blazing hot takes.

I see Regals and Enclaves everywhere. Also their sales in China are insane.

So hot. He must be bacon.

Welcome to Jalopnik where everything you just said is wrong! Acceptable modifications to your statement include:

Jonathan, that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever read on this website, and I edit David Tracy on a daily basis.

Women in bikinis fighting crime.

Dont worry. You’ll get through puberty at some point.

I believe these small electric vehicles are the perfect answer for transportation for single individuals traveling short distances on nice days. They are relatively cheap, zero emissions, and they help decongest the roadways. I ride my wowgo 2s skateboard around town for all of my personal transportation needs. It…

People abusing that system deserve to be fined and banned from services. The amount of people who just go out and get their animal declared an “emotional support animal” vastly outnumber legitimate users, and it screws over that portion of people.

On a serious note the X31 package sounds a lot like the Z71 package with less Z. It looks like the “X” to “Z” conversion rate is little better than 2:1. That means GM should be able to make the Z/28 substantial more something with a little less than half the the number units. X14? WHO knows?! The ZR2 should get into…