Welcome to the future!

You know, when I was a kid back in the early ‘80s and thought about what the year 2017 would be like it had a lot more flying cars and robot butlers and a lot fewer arguments about racist pizza and fans of a cartoon show screaming at minimum wage fast food workers because they ran out of sauce.

There you go:

Well, considering that tattoos are introducing strange substances into the body and increasing the risk of cancer, no wonder you would need a medical license to practice it.

I am not in the mood for a troll.

Just imagine the response if a black cop had said “white people have met their match” OH MY GOD white people would lose their fucking shit.

This is him when he’s not playing.

You speak to them in Latin, the preferred language of Satan’s spawn.

With cats you always have to be serious. They are only interested in one thing. How to rule the world. How can you use funny voice during that conversation?!

No. You will refer to him as Sir or Madam, or Your Majesty, at all times.

I raise you a Bernard

How could you not?

Mr Fluffles doesn’t need any more reasons to kill you in your sleep.

No. Cats are born with the equivalent cat age of a 45-year-old human, and are already tired of your shit.

My cat ONLY responds to baby talk. He loves it and will flip on his back to have his belly rubbed, even if you’re goo-gooing from across the room.

In my experience it seems like cats would prefer if you don’t talk at all. :/

If you come out un-maimed, it may be ok.

Finally I can store the children I catch in proper Pokeballs.

This could be one of my last posts, as per Giz's new commenting policy changes.

There is a difference between a tool which can kill someone but which has other purposes, and one which is good for nothing but killing people.