I’m sure these kids have seen enough divers the last few days.

*Some limits apply.

He’s A Dim Son...

Meanwhile we can’t figure out how to eject “GET IN THA HOLE!” guy at golf tournaments.

“...he had eaten five banana splits backstage and had to take a dump.”

I cannot believe how long that took to show up.

What they lack in climbing they make up for with absolutely amazing orange chicken.

Welp, that’s stuck in my head for-fucking-ever, now

Ugh. +1.

The third one was based in Southern California, but LA Bamba was a long time ago.

Take your star. Now go stand in the corner for 10 minutes. No, you can’t take your phone with you.

Just woke up... And now smiley

Oh boo hoo a bunch of rich kids don’t get to have their little club anymore where they can act like total jackasses under the guise of being a “band”

In response to the student band:

“Why, is it incapacitated by drunkenness?”

A good drinking strategy for him would be one-and-done.

Maybe Simmons underestimates his audience.

No American Pharoah winning the Triple Crown? Glaring omission.

You can tell he’s a true Bills fan because he’s so comfortable working from behind.