IT'S SAND. I THINK. I MUST HAVE BEEN NEAR A PILE OF SAND AND THE WIND BLEW AND IT GOT IN MY EYE. OR SOMETHING.

Wait, I'm bald...my hair is negative pasta? Anti pasta?

Yes, anyone who's flown international knows this.

Re: Kim and now being "low-maintanence"

Isn't it more disheartening to see that some of the responses are from women?

Just got some intel that Team Goat's planning a military coup.

I can confirm that the duck video watching is an essential job task, yes. The Duck Video department is a high-stress environment at Jezebel. I mean, it's nothing like the Cat Overlord Video unit, but it is certainly quite tense in there.

The ducks at my sister's ranch are the boss of every single animal there. The horses, the dogs...whenever the ducks show up it's like "OK EVERYBODY SETTLE DOWN MOVE OUT OF THE WAY WE ARE DUCKS WE ARE HERE TO DO DUCK THINGS THANK YOU."

I was like, what's the famous verse in Acts 29, why isn't that ringing any bells? Off to the Google ... It's because there are 28 chapters in Acts. The 29th Chapter is apparently this dude's ministry. Douchebro braggadocio wrapped in livid misogyny is the obvious next step for any good Apostle. I don't know why that…

We gather the news from a variety of sources and I do spend a lot of time on sites that produce viral content, I'm not going to hide that. Lots of stuff comes to/from Reddit even if it's not created there. This was a really interesting AMA.

PUFFLING

Kelly - Thank you so much for sharing this! This is such an important project, and I love that they are inviting the public to help this year (citizen science!). Plus, puffins!

As someone with celiac, I can say that's...extreme. I'm not saying he's lying! Celiac disease has literally thousands of potential symptoms and intestinal bleeding is very likely one of them. I've heard some terrible ones too (seizures, etc.) But most of us just do gross stuff in our bathroom and feel like we were hit…

What do we want? More women!

Old, dumb and wearing a weave is no way to go through life, Grandpa.

I have a feeling she is a major part of the problem.

Because "females" are not supposed to have such bodily functions. Nothing but rose petals and candy canes should come out of our asses.

Uh. In all seriousness, when did Jezebel "mock Chris Brown for being raped as a child"? I am pretty sure Jezebel was big on saying "no, Chris Brown didn't 'lose his virginity' at a ridiculously young age, he was raped." That's not mockery. Hating on Chris Brown for being abusive/not allowing a truly awful thing that…

We had a similar policy at the Whole Foods I used to work at. We had to have managers check our bags every night before we left to "prevent theft."

In Australia I got paid $18 an hour to wait tables.