Use a fucking spoon

"Police are still investigating what started the house fire. Witnesses reported a strong, savory smell coming from the flames."

HA remember this one?

How about a mostly informed user base?

Not mentioned, you can yell at your clothes. Scream at them.. "Fuck you, you fucking wrinkles". It works about as good as spraying them with water and letting them hang dry or hanging them in the shower with you.