So...the list isn't actually bonkers. 1988 was?

Phew. I feel less like a cynical monster ruining "the big day" for everyone.

But there is a way to do that without the ridiculous norms about the set events, dress and shoes, gift giving, and all the other dozens of expenses that add up. It would also be helpful if people thought about ALL the costs, not just day-of. Did the bride expect a gift? did they expect two (shower and wedding)? …

I might be a little dense but i can't tell if you're suggesting really, that brides should not make such ridiculous financial requests of their BMs or if you are suggesting that just because you had to pay for dresses your will make your BMs do the same?

GREAT. If that's your motivation, can i support you without paying $1000? Can i be trusted to look pretty enough doing my own hair and makeup?

I've been in 3 and I'm lined up for 3 more after recent engagements. I love and value each of the women who asked me and want to participate in their wedding and support them and am honored to be asked. But I've also spent over $1000 in each wedding and some of the more expensive ones are yet to come. True, I can…