And you don't mess around with Jim.

I don't enjoy stories about messing with assholes' food as much mainly because I want the assholes to be aware that they've been burned and in such a way that they can't prove that the person who burned them did it. If they walk out of the story and don't know that what they did had consequences, then I'm not…

Seriously? Do you think the party already seated would AGREE to that?

"Oh, no. That's okay. He's not with us."

"Well, in that case, Sir, if you'd like to dine with us we have seats available/it'll be an X long wait/could we interest you in take-away?"

Not that hard.

Yeah I probably wouldn't have sent that back either unless it was one of those places that charges for toppings. In which case I still would have eaten it but I'd tell the waitress so I didn't get charged for it. The only food I sent back recently is when I ordered a sushi roll and they brought me the wrong one on it…

I'm not even wearing pants, what does that say about me?

Naked wedding! No one has to worry about what to wear and it would conveniently dissuade any uptight extended family members from making an appearance! What fun!

I don't have a fetus with a briefcase but I do have...

I feel like Jessica Williams and Samantha Bee do some of the best, smartest interviewing on "The Daily Show". This reminded me so much of when Samantha Bee went to the Republican National Convention in 2012. The schadenfreude of watching folks walk into such obvious wholes in their own logic is life giving.

I don't know that I understand. So, the fetus' attorney can call witnesses against the pregnant teen girl and they say... what? They're testifying against her getting an abortion, so are they going to say nice things about her? Like, she's totes responsible and will be a great mom and, as such, shouldn't be allowed to…

Yeah the power dynamic is what creeps me out the most. Whatever feelings they may have toward one another, he has the life experience and perspective to realize how harmful acting on those feelings can be. The daughter seems so in need of a stable father figure - I think the fact that she calls him Dad when she needs…

That last story: Listen. When you haven't even yet graduated from your expensive college and you're already choosing to go have your limbs mangled for free during an 8 hour shift that a bunch of rich people have paid a small fortune for? That's when you change your career. That's why the romanticizing of the…

I have to believe OP is exaggerating. I've been known to have a good cry-fest but for never that long. On top of it — I cannot believe for a SECOND that any kitchen staff would allow that to go on for any longer than 5-10 minutes. And what about the co-workers, presumably also being run ragged? I doubt they'd have a…

Everyone wants to know what happened to the last chef after that incident but I want to know her entire life story BEFORE. What kind of life did she live where she even knew how to do that?

Full agreement from me on that one!

"8.43 percent of you (501 votes) chose Other (whatever that means)."

Friend, they make condoms in all kinds of sizes. If you've got a donkey dick, then you maybe have to order specially made ones online. That's ok. I have big ass titties and have to order bras online. But I do order them, I don't just go without. We all have our crosses, ya know?

You know, I could see that being convenient, and make it easy to keep an eye on dinner and the wash at the same time. But then again, since I cook to unwind and relax (well, and to eat, I guess), having all that extra noise banging around would probably make cooking time less enjoyable.

FOR THE LAUGHTER PART OF YOUR BRAIN!

KITCHENETTE... MORE INSIDE JOKES THAN YOU CAN SHAKE ENDLESS BREADSTICKS AT!!!

I'm picturing something like, she stores detergent in a beautiful glass decanter of some sort, because using the original package is just SO déclassé and her pinterest board shows all these great ways to organize things. Likewise, she stores her pantry staples in beautiful vessels (probably from the fancy kitchen…