Don’t worry Bobby, this is in secret British celeb code. It would take many years of study to be able to decipher it. Suffice it to say it means someone (no-one knows who) has joined the ranks of the WAGS, and therefore achieved the greatest dream of chav girls all over the country.

Yep,. not sexy just low-rent, sad, soft porn, obviously going for the wank market. I mean, sure, some people can fap to anything, and I appreciate Kylie is in a bit of a bind trying to stand out in that family. But I feel ‘trashiest Kardashian’ should not be anyone’s aim in life even if it does kind of half-rhyme.

Well, that’s kind of sweet. Kris is revving up the implausible-claims-for-publicity machine for Caitlyn’s book. And here’s me thinking they weren’t getting on.

Some guesses as to what the tune is here:

Ooo, yes! My DH does this and it drives me mad. I can just about deal with don’t-want-any-changed-my-mind-I’ll-have-some-of-yours. But he will wait until there are, like, two bites left and decide he wants some. “But I only want a little bit”. Yeah, but I am now going to finish desert quicker than I expected.…

‘Misspoke’ can properly be termed a ‘weasel’ word, that is, it is vague as to what was wrong with saying what you said. You aren’t owning up to something not being true, you are sort of implying you phrased something wrongly, without actually saying that either. It can mean that what you said was true but you…

Does anyone know dah fuk is the point of a turn-down service? I’ve stayed in hotels that did that (work obvs) and I still don’t get it. It seems to me like a way of saying, “Look, you wasted even more time of some lackey, aren't you glad you're not them?”

Excuse me, that dog is a professional, and that is her best sexy cover face. She starts looking all excited and shit, and that's her chance for Vogue blown, right there. Have some respect.

This. I think part of the problem is that it is so fucking simplistic as a trope. Woman acts mean or crazy - and big reveal! She was raped! See, we’re not saying women are bad or mad, maybe they were raped. And that’s all the explanation required, that’s her character right there. Which ... I can't even.

Yes, but you know about it now, don’t yah? Did you before? Quad Erat Publicity

Can we get Oprah on giving Dr. Kelly Kangaroo her own show, stat? I think some down-home Aussie medical wisdom in the form of kangaroo squeaks and bouncing around breaking stuff would be ratings gold.

No problem, I'll have yours. Pass your plate over.