“engage in risky behaviour, hold an unrealistic superior view of themselves, are over-confident, show little empathy for others, and have little shame or guilt.”

I’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone of the year when President Obama met Lil’ Pope...

Jesus, I used to be given those fucking awful Mary Jane candies by the older neighbors. Break my damn jaw.

Esther, what are you sitting here slandering Hershey’s chocolate as the worst Halloween candy when Charleston Chew, Good & Plenty, Bit-o-Honey and Necco Wafers are floating around? Not to say anything of raisins!

If Hersheys is the worst you can conjure, you grew up in some high end trick or treating territory.

My filing technique is unstoppable.

Why do people have to share shit like this on social media anyway? Why isn’t it good enough any more to tell your partners that you love them, or tell your kids you are proud of them ... you have to put it on social media so everyone else can see?

Maximize your core competencies.

“You inspire me with your calm, stoic disposition and unwavering prioritization of that which matters most in life.”

My wife always says my sexiest quality is my stoicism and prioritization capabilities.

Jared’s response:

She had to hit the word count or lose marks. 

Maxipads go on cunts, so this checks out.

A super-ultra maxipad. Just in case.

Looks like someone got fed up and flung a loaf of bread dough at her.

So much to unpack.

I hope that thing strapped to her head is a giant time release thorazine bag with a central line into her cortex. 

Darling... Your passionate analytics and seamless integration of sustainability and storytelling help me to downsize my enterprise. The knowledge you bring of offshoring opportunities, data mining collaboration and scalability pushes me to think outside of the box.

You inspire me with your calm, stoic disposition and unwavering prioritization of that which matters most in life.

What the fuck is that on her head? She looks ridiculous