On their wedding night... “This just in...”

Can someone remind me why there is so much hate for Colin Jost? I am not being snarky - he seems pretty harmless to me but maybe I missed something?

I know it’s a photo op and they probably have an army of nannies who watch those kids 24/7 but that crib is everything SIDS and suffocation hazard and it’s making me very anxious as a parent 

I use Uber for work and I have unusual looking cases for my work equipment. I get asked all the fucking time, “whats in those cases”. None of your fucking business. Thats whats in my case.

As far as I am concerned, if I am paying for the ride, I get to set the rules: slow down, turn on your wipers when it is raining (surprising how many do not), don’t pass on a curve.  And if I want to chat, I will initiate the conversation.

Because a lot of people live in cities, don’t own a car and and cabs/rideshare are just another transportation option. I’m not trying to have a conversation with the bus driver. Uber isn’t much different.

So, Fieri’s wife chooses to comment on his hair and clothes, and NOT on the fact her husband created Donkey Sauce? Honey, you got way bigger man babies to fry here.

KIM!

Psalm 5:9

I initially read that as Palm Sweat.

No it’s a weird name and it’s also incredibly hubristic, not that that’s surprising. Like Gwenyth Paltrow naming her child fucking Moses.

Psalmon

so basically baby Salmon 

Do you think Valerie is the same girl she used to be?

BOOM! STEVE WINWOOD!

Landmark is totally a cult!

Sounds like Valerie had a shitty role model in that mom. :(

This is a story about how a friend pettily betrayed me.

I have my own Tony Robbins story. I was notorious for dating the best looking, athletic guys (who typically treated me like shit) and never gave a shot to “nice” or out of shape guy. One day I was in an elevator and sure as hell, he walks in. Now it’s just me and him. Maybe God intervened but the elevator ended up…

It’s a brilliant pun.

So what’s it called? A “flipoffian tube?”