In 2017, I believe we call this sort of tone “presidential.”

To those outside Philly, “having a big dick” just means carrying a couple extra d batteries in your pocket in case JD Drew walks by.

This kid needs to be tied down and have his limbs gnawed by a rat, or he should just go to coach’s office.

I would have formed a wall. A great wall. The best wall of players in front of the goal in history. And I would have made England pay for it!*

*They would have to fetch the Gatorade to replenish the energy expended in setting up the formation.

To require someone to be patriotic is fundamentally un-American. The freedom to publicly state, I am ashamed of my country is the most American thing there is, from the very start of this nation. This is the same mistake made 50 years ago punishing the American act of protest, to make America better.

It does seem like a really fundamental misreading of their audience. I have a lot of soccer fan friends/family, and I have a lot of conservative friends/family, and there is zero overlap in that Venn diagram.

Players can represent their country only, apparently, if they’re willing to represent the version of the country in which U.S. Soccer is most interested in selling.

Rivers Romo needs to grow up and start a band called “Geezer”

Sad Hawkeyes fan give you a plus 1.

[Posts 23-second video of Carmelo jab-stepping]

A corollary to this would be, don’t watch 24-hour news networks or nightly news shows at all, ever. I stopped watching CNN and MSNBC and even Bloomberg, and I couldn’t be more at peace. I still know what awful things are going on, just by reading a variety of news sources online and in print (as I’ve said before, the…

No, fuck all that. An Indian immigrant was MURDERED in Kansas just a few days ago by a white supremacist who was motivated by the type of anti-immigrant sentiment that Donald Trump has promoted and mainstreamed further than any other politician in recent memory. And what does he do? Basically completely dismisses the…

Maybe the most shocking moment of my youth occurred when I learned that “Pig” Miller was, in fact, not Oliver.

Shaqtivate the Death Ray

“Hmm, yes, let’s ignore the president of the United States, that’ll stop him.”

THAT was “malicious”?! This is the most “malicious” part of that statement: “That dude is not fit to be the General Manager of a basketball team” If THAT’S malicious, none of the offended people should ever be allowed out in public ever again without handlers and blankies.

My thoughts exactly. Let the Lakers have him, I hate them. As a Sonics fan I also hate myself.

Morons. They were playing Kentucky.

One and done.

The worst part about this? Every single message board idiot who proposes trading his team’s spare parts for a superstar was just legitimized. Vivek and Vlade are dumber than the cooler heads on the internet.