Still, the pay was generous compared to industry standards and afforded some Shipters a living. “I did this full time,” a Shipter named Jesslyn Redmond told Gizmodo. She’s since found actual employment but continues to deliver orders sporadically.

Yo Adrian! Let's get out of this shithole!

I guess I will take my skateboard on my next visit to California.

Damn. That thing on the left is scary.

Nah, it's aliens.

Ah, the well know theory of unorganized chaos.

Wish I could but I gotta wash my socks.

“Nothing to see here. Just filming a Beastie Boys video.”

As for Pence, I bet mother did not approve.

Well, this post actually makes sense instead of being a misdirected, unwarranted hastily-typed burst of fake outrage, so no need to go there.

“You rang?”

Actually, it’s like the average US family donating 14.5 million dollars. Jesus. Nothing will ever be good enough.

Cry owl,

I’m depressed when I run out of magic mushrooms.

It secretly tells Facebook that your neighbor’s Labrador left a huge pile of turds on your lawn. Then Facebook sends an ad for a super-duper pooper scooper to your neighbor’s feed. So it’s pretty damn serious.

In 1985, I confirmed that dicks cannot taste mashed potatoes.

Yep. I’m thoroughly convinced Gawker helped the first go around, with every damn article on the site about Trump, substance be damned. All it did was enrage his supporters, helping them cast their votes without thought on a single issue. And helped it’s own demise in the process, pissing of those who could crush it.

Someone’s feewings are gonna get hurt. Maybe they should have picked up all of those turds left at the gate.

There's a little black spot on my dog today. It's the same old tick as yesterday.

Get it together over there, Mr. Shithole.