You haven’t seen the arm punt? It’s all the rage in college football. NFL teams will be doing it in 5-10 years.

When he finally gets around to putting after 2 solid minutes of screwing around, he putts like a dork.

He was never friends with Derek Carr.

Adrian Peterson knows what the difference is. Christ on a bicycle I just googled it for some reason.

It was in the menu at my local TB today.

This is an abomination. He’s dead to me.

Playing high schook baseball, I got hit in the nuts a couple of times by curveballs that didn’t break, but the best most embarrassing act was in left field. I made a diving catch in foil territory to the delight of the crowd. On the very next pitch to the next batter, a very similar looking ball was hit, and thinking…

I mean, it is a tech school.

Schefter’s Seltzer. So good you can’t say it three times.

Recently I had a few beers, while already dehydrated, and dined on some cedar plank grilled salmon. I woke up in the middle of the night with a splitting headache, and downed a 32 ounce fruit punch red Gatorade. As you might have guessed I hurled it all up. Not only was it nasty, but scary too!

Hope his okay now. My aunt lost the tip of her pinkie in a horrific stamping accident. She will never sip tea the same way again.

I mean, bruh, I bet Daniel Jones has never even had a beer, much less shotgunned one. Dude is sheltered for sure.

Let’s change the subject. Have you seen my show for children?

Damn. He needs to just let the helmet thing go out the window. Like he did with his furniture.

There's a fungus among us.

Weird, those gloves fit just fine before being soaked in blood and drying.

“Load the Magazine” was considered, but there are enough jokes about jerking it during downtime at sea.

Gotta give it to him on the technique. Uses canine teeth to puncture can to avoid fumbling with car keys, assumes proper stance as to not spill beer down jersey, pops top, drops left hand covered in beer to avoid dripping beer down the arm, crushes can for maximum flow. 5 seconds flat from catch and release.

Says the one with the nasty mind.