Don’t believe everything you see on Facebook. ...Even if it’s technically true.

Top of the line in utility sports, Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts!

This is my favorite one, mostly because I’m picturing the cop standing on your front porch taking notes about the “burglary.”

Damn, I’m late with this. But I suppose I can still share just how much trouble I got into as a teenager.

And your point is...? pointless post.

The TAG (Techniques d’Avant Garde) side of Heuer back in the 80s produced turbocharged units during the old F1 turbo era. TAG didn’t buy Heuer until around ‘85, so before that TAG was buidling Porsche turbo engines in F1.

obviously the humor escaped you...

Even a broken power unit is right twice a day, amirite?

So I’m in High School (because of course) and my buddy who is also my age decides he needs to go with his roommate to Seattle (we’re in Portland area) to retrieve his roommate’s car which is still at his roommate’s old house. It’s a Tuesday in like March or something and I don’t even bother asking my parents because I…

Ah, that’s one tricky dad! I had a similar moment with my folks. After I graduated college my dad reached into ye olde liquor cabinet for a nice old bottle of scotch. Mom says she threw it out a few years ago. Brother and I look at each other and say, “Ah, it was mostly water anyway.” Whole family laughs.

Your grandmother is fucking awesome.

I love your grandma.

how many closets did you have?!

There are more than I'm proud of, but the funniest has to be an incident in high school. My parents found my booze stash in my closet while I was at school. I came home and my dad says "I found something in your room that was interesting, why don't you go grab it and bring it down here". Being the genius that I am, I…

I grew up working at a flooring store that my dad managed. Once when I was 17, spent Friday night with some friends getting shitfaced at somebody’s house until 4 or 5 AM. Saturday about 9 AM, my dad calls and needs me to come in to work because 2 guys scheduled had laid out. I told him I wasn’t feeling well (truth)…

Well, this one time in the ‘90s, my family went on vacation. We have a big family, and a winter storm knocked our power out, and somehow the person in charge of making sure we were all in the airport shuttle miscounted. So I got left home alone for a couple days. No biggie, I found some cash for snacks and pizza, but…

She totally has to tell you, otherwise it’s entrapment.

I grew up living next door to my maternal grandparents. They were wonderful grandparents who were very loving and giving. Throughout my childhood and adolescence I typically went and hung with them five or six times a week.

Being awesome, duh.

THAT HAIL MARY PLAY I CALL IT THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT KILLED SOME LIONS FROM EXTREME LONG RANGE.