Austin should be far, far lower. Yeah, SXSW is nice and all, but it’s a shitty town full of 35-year-old hipsters who still think they’re in college.

+1 Darren Wilson jersey

The 0-3 Cardinals have struck out a combined 37 times in their three losses.

RG3 will have a great run in Cleveland. Too bad they’ll be down 30 to Pittsburgh when it happens.

I have no idea why a St Louis football fan might be pissed off and ready to invent a conspiracy to smear the Rams.

Don’t mess with this real life Zohan. If he’s not the next bachelor then ABC doesn’t know what they’re doing.

Shirtless goober? Try Gaza stripper.

Wait, you mean to tell me that an Israeli arrived unannounced and started being aggressive towards the unsuspecting people who were already there? Well I’ll be damned.

God, you can practically hear the American Grafitti/Sandlot-esque end-credits narration over this photo:

“That’s devastating,” Derrick Rose said.

Who protested TOO much; Chris Sale. Probably the one who mentioned that it’s great for kids to be around the team but in the clubhouse EVERY day was a bit much. The clubhouse is the inner sanctum. The stories of the Cardinals minor league clubhouse of coaches and players discussing how to kill gay people - why would…

TAKE YOUR STUPID STAR!

Man, a kid hasn’t caused this much trouble for Chicago baseball since the Cubs kicked out that goat in 1945.

Chuck seems like a happy-go-lucky kind of bird. Just an overall nice demeanor.

As this weekend showed, however, even more fun than the final reveal will be the process of getting there.