Or Sam Barsanti.

Yes, I love people who think that executing two MLS clubs a year (don’t lie, no club in MLS would survive relegation) would magically make the league better.

“We now know that a black guy calling a white guy the N-word is half as offensive as someone using homophobic language, five times less offensive than making slant eyes in the dugout, and three times less offensive than writing ‘Tu eres maricon’ on eyeblack.”

Once again, Marvel gets a bang-up scene from what sounds like a drunken writer’s challenge:

I think this movie is the all-time cinematic winner for “unexpected good cry”.

God, Kraglin. He joins the mutiny because he has a valid question (“Why *do* you stick up for Quill no matter what happens?”), betrays them when he gets his answer, and is thrilled to see Quill redeemed. He has less than 10 lines or 5 minutes of screen time, and he still has a more complete character arc than anyone…

I think the answer boils down to “International Box Office becomes significant.”  Star Wars, Disney, and action movies aren’t overly hard to translate, but claustrophobic dramas and biblical dramas are.

I think he could start at 1953 and not run into that problem:

I love how the first movie ends by telling us that Yondu kept Quill instead of returning him to his father...and the sequel show us that this kidnapping was, inarguably, the noblest thing he’d ever done.  The movie shows us that Yondu wasn’t a *good* dad, but he knew he was the only parent Quill was going to have, and…

“You know what our PG-13, blockbuster action movie needs? A central theme of people dealing with their traumatic childhoods!”  But damned if they didn’t make it work.

Seconding this.  Especially since they spend a good chunk of this column talking about the biggest earner from the previous year.  Studios have been trying to produce big commercial smashes since the silent era - I imagine you could almost start this column some time in the 1920s.

When the Warriors are no longer guaranteed a Finals spot, we will be in a new era.

Please.  It’s not like they’d ever praise the NFL.

I *loved* how they set up Mordo as a future villain in this movie. His personality and convictions change not one whit from beginning to end, but his move from ally to enemy makes perfect sense - Mordo was always more committed to principles than people, and that drives him to oppose Strange and his allies.

Billy.  Billy Haisley is complaining about the result.

No, let’s get it wrong so people go through emotions *quicker*.  Because a 30-90 second pause is not worth a correct call.

If they showed one Phase per day, it would actually be a manageable amount of movie-watching - six movies, then six movies, then nine movies.  Trying to watch them all consecutively is just torture.

Competent, unoriginal covers are great for padding out a live setlist.  In album form, they’re kinda pointless.

It’s hokey as hell, but I love T’challas final line to Zemo:

Thank you, someone, for getting my extremely obscure and context-irrelevant joke.