“cleetus done boxed a dozen possums this year. we got about all the possum we got room for in the box cellar.” 

“that place sure smells like shit.”

i was kidnapped and tied to a tree in the middle of no where late one sunday afternoon just before chapter meeting. i was alone out there for like thirty minutes because a bunch of 18 year olds who put up with that sort of treatment aren’t really the best at complex navigation. another time they bound my hands and…

there were only three fraternity chapters on campus where i was. one chapter were complete pussies who didn’t even have a house. you just showed up to their rush event and asked to join, and they let you in. that sounded stupid...i thought the point was you had to “earn” something...so i said fuck that.  the second…

mea culpa...i have no short stories when it comes to this shit.

that bill hicks bit about patriotism is my favorite. “...i mean i guess i’m proud...my parents fucked here...”

i forgot to mention that we had to keep a pledge book.  it includes all sorts of offensive and abusive shit, written in the hands of the people who hazed the fuck out of me.  they had to sign off on our hazing shit, so it’s not even a question of identifying the handwriting.  i recently got tagged in a facebook thread…

i pledged ATO at a small college as a freshman. during my time in that shitshow i experienced some scary shit, but perhaps the worst was a similar occasion when my pledge bros and i were loaded into the back of trucks and driven out into a corn field miles from campus. on the way into the field, we were obviously…

my wife is from buffalo, this is what thursday looked like before we had kids.

christ on a dildocycle that’s dark.

LOL i love this old bastard.

oops i misread an article on the internet i should probably self-immolate.

this record saved my life.  

i don’t know shit about hand guns so forgive me. when she picks the gun up it looks like the stock(?) has fallen out of the gun. is this a taurus? is this a piece of shit gun?  a dunce with a dunce weapon is what i’m seeing here.

“congrats on succeeding. now give me $200 for this fucking ugly shoe.”

oh no doubt...this kid is getting a huge pass on his hip position and his weak ass chest.  i don’t understand the triple move to the bar either, but if pete rubish told him to do it i’ll just assume it makes sense.

he’s recording his sets so he can send them to his coach. 

i would prefer to see him lower the bar with more control, but he’s not dropping the fucking bar. it’s literally strapped to his wrists.  there is nothing wrong with what he’s doing and that’s not loud at all.

raw deal?  what the fuck?

a few years ago, after a day of jet skiing and drinking all the beers, i cracked the greater tuberosity of my humerus.  once back on land we started wrestling...i performed a flawless double-leg take down on a friend but landed on my right shoulder. after sleeping it off i drove six hours home in my manual…

very true. striking a low wall like that is just a recipe for disaster.