Can’t

CTE is real, folks.

I was honestly prepared for them to do that with mine, but I guess I didn’t fail epically enough. I think I’m okay with it?

“I don’t.”

Show off. This isn’t how things should be done.

“Boopie doopie doopie-doop...sex.”

“Man...Business is really hurting at the shop. Any ideas?”
“I know, let’s get a dude who’s hair looks like a 70's pube-fro to come in and yell racist sports takes, while we give away free haircuts!”
“Why do I even ask you for help, Darren Rovell?”
“IT’S GOOD FOR THE BRAND!”

Annie’s Boobs: So well known, they got their own spin-off.

I love you Annie’s Boobs!

As long as we’re talking about Cowherd, sure.

Giant greenhouse meets Noah’s Ark meets Bird Abattoir

“Also Russell Wilson is still the lamest form of Black Ned Flanders.”
That sounds pretty good to me lmao!

People in Chicago are indeed suffering. Have you seen the Bears?

“And I’ll tell you another thing,” Lynch said, “New Girl might be the best damn show on television.”

I’m going to assume that anyone watching the third quarter of a Chargers-Vikings preseason game is already voting for this stupid stadium plan.

Chaps are, by definition, assless.

Pretty much explains the first divorce.

This is so true. The 2k series of NFL games were almost perfect and every Madden since has been a pale, sad imitation. 2k3's first person perspective mode is still my favorite.

Can we discuss how one saves his virginity for a second marriage?