Today is my first day back at work after maternity leave and everyone is asking if I’m okay and if I’ve cried and I want yell, “FREEDOM IS MINE, AT LAST,” at all of them but I feel like that would make me seem like a bad mom. Newborns are BORING, no matter how adorable they are! I got to eat my breakfast with two…

My mom and my sister’s MIL literally threw my sister in the shower, colluded with her husband and kicked her out for their night alone with the baby. I suspect that my niece remembers nothing.

Unfortunately, if you have large boobs, $100 minimum is what you’re going to spend on suits that fit above a DD :( #mylife #sad

They should have known, one of those suits has short sleeves for crying out loud.

Is this really a good idea, though? I mean, a woman POTUS and VP? Won’t their cycles sync up and wreak havoc on the White House plumbing?

I teared up when I voted for her.

Tweets like Charline McCray’s make me tear up and my heart swell a million times larger. Can we pause all the fighting on the left for a moment to appreciate what a historic precipice we’re standing on? If we nominate Hillary, we become the first major party to ever nominate a woman for U.S. President. And if she win…

Your winnings sir

Lol. Some will not get the reference, sadly.

I'm shocked to learn that there is gambling in this establishment.

OMG, A SEXIST FRATERNITY?!!?!? NO FUCKING WAY!!!!!!!!

Cholula? How bougey.

I am also a teacher now, and same.

I am a teacher. Living with me would not be rad.

I love him so much. I’ve never been so sad to see a president go.

It’s so beautiful...

GOD, I REALLY LOVE HER. I’m a native Floridian who’s had to watch this evil, corrupt, soulless shitmonster drive our once-beautiful state into the ground for 6 fucking years now. As such, I’ve definitely fantasized about running into him (with my car) (haha, what? who said that?) and telling him to crawl back into…

Rick Scott LOVES to tout how many jobs he has created for this state, when a lot of them who are companies thriving and would expand without his help. Meanwhile, he has weakened our environmental laws, refused to expand Medicare to help Floridians in need, tied Planned Parenthood up in frivolous lawsuits that the…

All of my local pols are Democrats and perfectly fine, and all the exurban and rural Republicans that have as their single mission to fuck everything up for everyone state-wide would probably rather die than set foot in the den of iniquity and sin that is The Big Scary City. They might see a black person! Or two men…

Swoon. Cara is our local Floridan hero. Fucking keep on it girl.