When conservatives try to do humor — be it internet or television — it consistently falls flat.

If he is not the perfect combination of 65% Mia Farrow 35% Frank Sinatra I will eat my hat.

That boy is a Sinatra. Nobody can tell me ANY different.

Unpopular opinion: I think Elsie Otter is actually kind of cute. I mean, I wouldn’t name my kid after an animal but it sort of works in this case. I’m just glad she didn't name her kid after a fruit or color.

“Because of your distinguished career, you’re going to wind up looking silly if you keep going on like this.”

Bobby, you are a gift.

Justin Theroux’s Vaughn Wysel gets my vote. (but Berger did suck)

I think the Spank-oln Memorial needs more clarification. Is it just a list of the women’s names? Are there pictures? If so, does it mention how old I was at the time? If you saw girls of middle school age it would have to point out that you were also in those classes and of the appropriate age, right? Even then,…

Shut your pie hole! I love dipping fries in my Frosty, but jelly on pizza is disgusting.

YES. I am an elderly lady (OK NOT ELDERLY, but at the age where having a baby might be difficult, but I still may try in 2016, cross yr fingers for me) and when people who REALLY want to have a kid are able to have one, it is definitely cheer-worthy.

Oh simmer down. It’s a totally normal thing because as a couple you are both excited to be having a baby *together*. A natural expression of their love and connection and all that. I always naturally said “we” though all 3 of my pregnancies; during pregnancies 2 and 3 the “we” included my other children as in “we, as…

Her tweet, her body, her call, imo. If he said it, I’d feel differently.

Preview of coming attractions.

What makes it disgusting to me is that garlic + tomato + oregano are combined with grape jelly. It’s specific to the ingredients. So Frosty and fries is super tasty because there are no ingredients with any sort of intense flavor. Creamy, sweet, salty, oily, but not garlic, not tomato. But both concord grape AND pizza…

Fries dipped in a Frosty are delicious, you heathen.

Okay, so I’m not defending the salad lady in the story, because she didn’t say she wanted no lettuce and was an idiot about it. But I do know why some people order this. I had bariatric surgery, and one of the foods my stomach does not tolerate well is lettuce. It has a tendency to get wadded up and stuck in the small…

I read every one of these - and there were definitely some gems - but I just flat-out can’t get over putting jelly on pizza, let alone asking for it like it’s not completely insane.