My boyfriend and I had been dating for maaaybe a month when, one night during some semi-drunk sexing, he managed to hit the perfect spot to rupture an ovarian cyst the size of my fist that I didn’t know existed. He then had to call his mother - at 3 in the morning - to come and drive us to the emergency room because I…

Scene- My bedroom, 2 AM, after a bottle and a half of wine.
Players (In a theatre sense, not like, a gross way to say ‘lovers’ or whatever)- My husband and also my me.

We were young, early 20’s, shitty on wine, having laugh sex, where we sort of clumsily bounced around the bedroom, laughing and not totally putting all…

Back when I was younger and single I had a weekly ‘arrangement’ with this guy I met through mutual friends. He was nothing spectacular but a fixed Tuesday night hookup? Young me couldn’t refuse!

One night as sexy time things are happening in his bed he tumbles off the bed - to this day I still don’t understand how it…

Public Service Announcement to the Men: Always tell your partner when you’re about to come. The very first time I gave a blow job to completion, I exhaled just as my boyfriend came, causing me to shoot cum out of my nose all over both of us. It really, really burns.

As recently as this year? Well so far they’ve released Inside Out which seemed to me to do a pretty good job at avoiding gender stereotypes. And last years big animated film was Big Hero 6 which had two super hero scientist girls. Looks like a lot of improvement to me.

Go and brush your shoulders off..

Welcome them? They’re already here and have a supreme ruler

Sure, that’s fine and all, but tell me when you’re gonna MAKE THAT ANTMAN HOODIE IN ADULT SIZES!?

WTF???? Did he miss the 90s and no one told him?

WHY DIDN’T THEY SAY SUSAN B. ANTHONY

I quite like the idea of a divorcing set of parents continuing counseling to work out a co-parenting plan. If that is what they are doing, good for them and their children.

If they ever decide to expand “Make a Wish” to include “30-year-olds who just have had a rough go of it lately”, that is legit what I am asking for. Preferably with straight gin. Because apparently that’s how Lizzie rolls.

I am struggling to think of something I would enjoy more than watching Downton Abbey while trading barbed commentary with the Queen.

I heard she likes to drink chilled gin, straight. She is my hero.

White couch situation?

When Daniel Craig was rumored to be taking over Bond, not being “suave” enough = not having dark hair.

And then there is this from my friend.

Remember: kill six million Jews and other undesirables: no automatic excommunication. Rape children for decades with impunity: no automatic excommunication. Destroy an embryo: automatic excommunication.