Have a story idea or some information you think we should know? Email us at tips@jezebel.com, contact one of our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter and Instagram, like us on Facebook, and subscribe to our newsletter.

What, like it’s hard?

Maybe they should have called it Zuul, because of the way it possesses you.

obligs.....

Fish Hungry

I do not fear Hell, for I have shopped at the Atlantic Center Target in Brooklyn on a Sunday morning when all other customers were Hassidim.

There’s that word again. “Heavy.” Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth’s gravitational pull?

Also, James:

Toyota: Let’s Go Places We Shouldn’t

We’ll all be nervous, and we’ll all be nervous WHILE she’s eviscerating him again, and we’ll be sullen when the press declares “Trump did so great” within the first 3 minutes of the debate ending— and then in the morning, when it all sinks in and the polls respond, then we do the Dance of Joy.